Why do so many couples fall out of love?

The symptoms of a relationship where one or both partners feel that they are no longer “in love” and the reasons people grow apart are typically the same. They stop acting in loving ways, no longer spend alone time together, are less interested in each other, and almost always stop touching affectionately and sexually. Often times, one or both of the partners are filled with resentment over unresolved issues. When people don’t feel loved, appreciated or understood, they often become angry, withdrawn or both. Where there used to be love in their eyes, there is now sadness and anger.

Some people become resigned to this type of relationship believing that all couples grow apart or fall out of love, while others chose to have affairs or end the marriage. Both can lead to increased depression, stress, and an overall decreased quality of life.

What can couples do to fall back in love?

Remember why you fell in love and the things you used to love about your partner and your relationship. Do the things you did at the beginning of your relationship. Spend more time together alone. Be interested in your partner. Talk about shared dreams, goals, and reminisce over happy memories and experiences you’ve shared, create new ones and have fun! Most of the couples I see in my practice have forgotten how to have fun together.

Remember, it’s easy to fall in love, but it takes intention and daily efforts to stay in love. Act like a person in love, and you’ll notice an amazing shift in your relationship.

Couple’s therapy and coaching are great ways to address unresolved issues as well as learn new skills to have a healthy, loving and satisfying relationship. If you feel you’ve done everything you can to reconnect, but nothing’s changing, consider seeing a therapist or coach who specializes in working with relationships and marriage.

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